Last updated in June 2026.
Joining Spinsters of San Francisco in 2017 is one of the most recreationally enriching things I’ve ever done. I wish I’d joined straight out of college. It’s a great way to connect with ambitious, philanthropically-minded women, build community, and form new friendships. I was a member from 2017-2022.
Spinsters of San Francisco (known as SOSF these days) is a San Francisco-based organization for women. There are currently about 100+ Spinsters spread throughout the Bay Area, literally from Alameda to San Jose.
Who can join?
As of 2026, candidates must meet the following criteria to join:
- Must reside in the San Francisco Bay Area
- Be aged 21-40 years old
- Not currently married
- Hold a college degree or equivalent trade certification
The trade certification option is a relatively recent addition, which I think reflects a more inclusive and realistic picture of who belongs in a community like this.
Why join?
Studies from the University of Oxford and Aalto University in Finland have shown that your social circle shrinks soon after your mid-20s.
In my case, I realized that the further I drifted from my graduation date, the further I was drifting from my college friends. It made sense. We were all adulting pretty hardcore and no longer lived a bike ride away from each other.
Ultimately, I decided I wanted to meet new people with similar values and pad my weekends with a little more meaning than Gilmore Girls binges. Spinsters of San Francisco is honesty one of the best way for women to meet like-minded women and make friends in San Francisco and the broader Bay Area.
Giving back is a priority
I think what I love the most about the organization is what go-getters these ladies are, no B.S. Many Spinsters are on the boards of other nonprofits. These boards include many art and philanthropical organizations, including the American Cancer Society, Encore, and GLIDE. One former Spinster even runs her own nonprofit organization for girls.
These Spinsters balance their philanthropical work with a busy social calendar and full-time jobs. Most Spinster-organized volunteer events fill up quickly, which shows how seriously we take our volunteer work.
I quickly realized these are the kinds of people I want to be friends with. They’re people who care about helping others and won’t think twice about donating their weekend to a good cause.
Organizations that the Spinsters volunteer with include the San Francisco SPCA, the San Francisco Food Bank, the Princess Project, La Cocina and Project Open Hand.
SOSF has a genuinely fun events calendar, and membership dues (hovering around $600 for new members) include tickets to two signature balls: a Holiday Ball in December and an Annual Ball in June. There’s also a Legacy Ball fundraiser gala for those who have an extra gown and a little extra cash to burn — tickets to that one aren’t included in dues.
Annual highlights include Fleet Week’s Fleet or Flight fundraiser — a throwback to pinup curls, red lipstick, and sailor dresses — and spring wine tours, which are perfect for breaking out a floral romper and soaking in some vitamin D before getting your grape on.
There’s something for every type: professional development book club meetings, chocolate tastings, and parent-friendly events called MaDa (Mother/Daughter) and FaDa (Father/Daughter). It’s a real range.
The recruitment process
The recruitment process has a bit of a sorority rush feeling to it, but in the best way — it’s genuinely fun and gives you a real taste of what membership actually looks like. I ultimately attended about nine events.
Prospective members can expect a mix of events: volunteer opportunities, virtual sessions, happy hours, hikes, and picnics — including one at Dolores Park, which is as fun as it sounds. It’s intentionally designed to mirror the member experience, so by the time you’re done with the prospective period, you’ll know exactly what you’re signing up for.
My advice: treat recruitment like a warmup to being a Spinster. Think beyond the prospective period. Assume you’ll get in, and start making friends already. Some of the best connections I made during my time with SOSF started during recruitment, not after.
If you’re accepted, you’ll receive a mailed invitation — yes, a real, physical invitation — to the New Member Tea at the end of summer, along with information on how to pay your dues.
The New Member Tea is a highlight. In my day, it was held at the Crown Room in the Fairmont Hotel. More recently, it’s been hosted at venues like the Town & Country Club on Stockton Street near Union Square.
A honest note
SOSF is a smaller organization than it once was — somewhere around 100+ members compared to its larger roster in previous years. Depending on what you’re looking for, that’s either a drawback or a feature. If you want a tight-knit group where you’ll actually know people, rather than a large network where you’re perpetually a stranger, the current size might suit you well.
It’s also worth knowing that the organization has seen a fair amount of change over the past decade. The culture has evolved. If you go in with realistic expectations and genuine interest in community rather than just a packed social calendar, you’re going to have a good time.
How to learn more
Visit sfspinsters.com to find out more about the organization, current events, and how to get involved. You can also follow them on Instagram for a real-time look at what recruitment and membership actually look like.
Spinsters is one of the Bay Area’s greatest perks for young women. I can’t recommend enough that you invite your best friend, your sibling, or that new-to-town coworker to consider joining.
Or, you know, yourself.
Leave a Reply